The middle of the line

Last night, the Tories of Rugby had a little shindig at the Grosvenor. Black tie (a few spivvy types had come in lounge jackets, standards have slipped), evening dresses and lots of jolly fun. Unfortunately for them it was at the Grosvenor Hotel in Rugby (recently featured in ‘The Hotel Inspector’) rather than the one on Park Lane. Not only is the former a far cry from the elegance and opulence (and quality) of the latter, but I suspect that they would have found the food a little sub-par. Oh, and it’s the kind of place will let the likes of me into.

In an effort to keep the hoi-polloi out, the doors to their dining room were closed, but the wind kept opening them up again. So an enterprising member of staff bolted them from the outside, without telling the assembled guests. Of course, with the wine flowing, it was a matter of time before someone needed to evacuate. The first was a man who certainly was tenacious, even if none too perceptive. After several attempts to prise the doors open, it fell to your valiant blogger to rescue the hapless Tory in question (a councillor who will remain nameless, lest the fact that it took him nearly a minute to realise that a door was bolted sully his reputation as a wise old bird). Did he thank me? Did he heck. Oh well, I didn’t expect good manners to be frank.

All the main local blues were there, with the notable exception of Craig Humphrey (who probably had to stay in and look after his pay-rise, bless ‘im). There was an esteemed guest, the Rt Hon Andrew Mitchell MP, Secretary of State for International Development and former Rugby boy.

Between each course there were little speeches, which appeared to be full of back-slapping and congratulation. There were also questions and answers for the honoured guest to deal with. His position meant that he got short shrift for increasing the aid budget (and particularly for sending money to help India), and over Bombardier losing the chance to build trains. Some Tories were also clearly not too sure that a coalition was a good idea. Of course, those would be the stupid ones who can’t count and so don’t realise that they didn’t win a majority. They were barking up the wrong tree with Mitchell though – he’s one of the Lib Dems’ favourite Tories and the love seems to be reciprocated.

Alas, I had to leave early, as it would have been great fun to have had a chance to congratulate Mr Mitchell in person for his principled stand against Fox Hunting. I’m sure that the local Tories would have appreciated that.

Oh, and the raffle prizes looked a bit sparse. 4 bottles and nowt else?